Isa pang kuwento

26 Mar

I am reposting, yet again, another article which I wrote some five years ago.  Having unearthed it was serendipitous as I go through this difficult phase of longing and sadness.  The letter below the article, dated February 7, 2009, is from Natalie.  I decided to append it as most of the “creative” letters I received from her got damaged during the termite-infestation of 2009.  I decided not to expound on why I chose to have this post and will just let you in inside my head.

March 18, 2005

Last Monday, I received an email from Natalie, a former student (I taught high school students for two years after graduating from college, I switched to freelance researching afterwards). It was my first year of teaching when I was their class adviser.  Constant ang communication namin ng batang ito kahit matagal na akong wala sa school nila. Updated ako lagi sa mga crushes niya, mga manliligaw, at iba pang dilemma ng isang teen-ager, pati na sa gulo nila sa bahay.

Honor student daw sya pero dahil may gulo sa bahay ay wala siyang makakasama sa recognition day. Nahihiya naman daw syang walang kasama. Kunin na lang nya medal nya sa kuhaan ng report card.

Pero pwede raw ba ako ng Thursday, 3Pm?

Oo, sabi ko. Half-day na lang ako sa office kahit without pay. Dapat naroon ako sa recognition day niya. Araw niya ‘yon.

Kaya hayun, ako ang kasama niya sa Recognition Day ceremonies. Tatlong beses kaming pumanhik sa stage dahil bukod sa medal niya for academic excellence, meron din siyang conduct at service awards.

“Nat, pagpanhik natin sa stage hawak ka sa braso ko.”

“Kinakabahan ako, Sir Butch. Tingnan mo nilalamig ang kamay ko.”

“Wag kang kabahan, dito lang si Sir Butch.”

Ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Kinakabahan na masaya na proud. Halo-halo na. Ganito rin siguro ang pakiramdam ng mga tatay at nanay na naroong kasama namin.

May ngiti sa labi ni Natalie. It was a fleeting moment that would last with me forever.

—-

Naniniwala akong may mga kanta tayong ng kinahihiligan at different points in our life kasi ‘yung kantang yun ay reflective of our state of mind and emotions at that particular moment. Ganoon din kasi ako.

Minsan nga bago matulog, pag ayokong kausapin ang Diyos, isasara ko ang ilaw sa kwarto ko, magsisindi ng kandila, at magpapatugtog ng kanta. Love songs, novelty songs, kanta ni Sharon Cuneta, kanta ng six-cycle mind, etc. Kahit ano basta pakiramdam ko ako iyon sa mga sandaling iyon. Iyon na ang prayer ko. It’s me, talking to the Lord.  Tulad ngayong gabi, ang kantang ito ng himig Heswita ang kanta ng aking buhay…

“O Hesus, hilumin mo aking sugatang puso nang aking mahango kapwa kong kasing bigo.”

It’s basically a prayer for healing.  It’s asking God to heal me from my own woundedness so that I may also be an instrument to heal others.

Napaka-noble. Napaka-ideal. Minsan parang imposibleng mangyari kasi hurting na nga tayo tapos we’ll also think of other people’s problems.

Pero posible.  Nagawa ko.  Kaya pala.

———————————————–

February 7, 2009

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One Response to “Isa pang kuwento”

  1. nida p. gaño April 12, 2010 at 12:23 PM #

    Hi Butch! your much deeper than I thought. I know you will touch many lives. See you Sunday with your siblings and mom.

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