A friend popped a question out of the blue: “May itunuturing ka bang best friends?” I said “Yes, I have several.” And I asked why the question. She replied, “Kasi ako I’m very demanding with friends… konti lang kasi so, I’m too attached… Nagtatampo ako to the max kapag hindi ako na-uupdate… I’m always justifying based on what I feel lang… you think mali ako? Ganun ka din ba?”
The rest of our e-mail exchanges are stuff only for our inboxes to keep but it got me thinking, while waiting for my iPad software update to be completed.
Softwares are the stuff that allow communication between man and machine. It mediates understanding between us and the hardware because nothing will happen if the two are left alone to themselves as they speak different languages. It’s what makes possible for us to do the stuff that we do on our computer gadgets (PC, mobile phones, and the like). Software updates are needed because there are bugs to be fixed or there are significant improvements that could push productivity further, through faster processing or ease of use. It enhances man-hardware interaction and brings about greater effectivity and efficiency. Our computing needs evolve thus the need for our softwares to be updated or replaced with a better one.
I think the same wisdom is true with our relationships. My friend’s concern over “updates” is valid. Our shared experiences, whether together or apart, is a tie that binds. The evolution or deepening of the friendship is a function of the “updates” that we pour into it because it makes understanding one another possible. By updates in relationships, we mean not just factual information about our lives but also a sharing of our innermost thoughts and feelings. That is the stuff that makes for a meaningful relationship–caring, loving, and trusting. (This may be anti-climactic, but maybe this is the reason why Facebook asks us: “What’s on your mind?” and it wants us to post our updates on our walls so everyone in our Friends list gets updated. Just a thought.)
I am no expert on how much time we need to devote on updating one another but when I initially clicked the button that will start the software update on my iPad, the download window said, “382 hours remaining.”
Now that’s what we call a lifetime commitment.