I was up early today. Got a long list of to-do’s and an afternoon full of meetings. But melancholia has its own way of smoothly getting into your system. As soon as I started eating my breakfast my thoughts channeled to 2010. I was in that moment when Papa was in the hospital and around him were his officemates (he was their consultant for two years).
He would’ve been 60 today. He celebrated his 57th and 58th with his officemates and I could still remember him telling us proudly as soon as he got home that he treated his officemates to ice cream. It was big of him to do that, considering how we were doing prior to 2008. And now, I could just imagine him going home at the end of the day telling us proudly about his treat to his officemates. And I bet that it would be more than just ice creams this time because by tomorrow he is already retired and enjoying senior citizen discounts.
But there will be none of that.
On that day when his officemates visited him, he could barely talk but I was so sure that he was happy to be surrounded by them. It was the first time I cried publicly because Papa would always ask about the work he left behind. I asked his officemates, most especially his secretary, Julie, to talk to him silently. I was asking them to assure them that the office will be fine and that he need not worry about office work… to let go.
And then he was gone a couple of weeks after that night.
He would’ve been 60. A time that he eagerly awaited.
He would’ve been 60 today. A full month before his first grandchild is born. A time that he so looked forward to experiencing.
Happy birthday, Pa! We’ll celebrate it with ice cream and some pansit later. Enjoy your party up there!